Perfectionism Paralysis

I pulled this inspirational card today and it spoke volumes to me.  I’m the perfect example of perfectionism.  So much so I get into perfectionism paralysis!

It was no wonder that when it came my time to grieve, I’d worry if was I doing it right!

“There is no right way, I was told.  Everyone’s journey is unique and we get over our grief when we do”.

Ok, my nursing background kicked in and I thought.  I cannot imagine a doctor telling a patient that.  How helpful would that be to the person with cancer or heart disease?

No, indeed they wouldn’t, instead, they outline the prognosis and the journey they have evidence in seeing for patients with the same diagnosis.  Then they give helpful information for what they can do to help the person heal or suggest potential cures for them.  They are offering them HOPE.

This indeed is what I do, I offer, my clients Hope that they can heal their heartache and move through their grief. I offer helpful information and assist them to plan their own healing journey.

It isn’t about forgetting their loved one, or that they didn’t love them enough if they heal.  It’s about showing them what is possible when they work through their grief with guidance and support.

If you are curious about what grief coaching can do for you, please connect with me.

Healing from your grief is about moving your loved one into your heart and out of your head.

 

Poems from Beyond – Interview with Liza Ferrara DeStefano

Grief is universal, but individually we all have our own unique way of handling our grief.  Liz Ferrara DeStefano found very quickly after the death of her father, her own way was to create poetry.  The words would come to and the poems were born.

Liza wonders if she did grieve enough, she feels she did, her heart no longer broken, admits she feels sad and does miss her Dad but the poetry helped her process her loss.

These are some of the topics we covered

  • How soon after your Dad’s death did you discover your creativity had been awakened?
  • What is it about this activity that worked so well for you?
  • Have your poems helped your family members?
  • How many poems have you written?
  • You are now a published author
  • Did you publish them as a legacy to your Dad or as part of your healing journey?

Liza’s poems not only helped her with her grief but have helped others she has shared or written them for. In creating her poems she feels she is connected to her Dad and this brings her comfort

It doesn’t always have to be painful or anguish but a quieter letting go, and into acceptance.  When you listen to Liza’s story, you will find that family connection, closeness and supporting each other are what helped this family navigate their loss, their Dad, a husband, and grandfather.  They are all changed in many ways and these changes have brought the family closer together.

 

 

 

Dr. Sarah Kerr, Soul Passages – Interview

Dr. Sarah Kerr is a Death Doula and a Ritual Healing Practitioner and in the interview, she shares her work with death & loss and how she helps others in their process at a soul level.  Sarah states that “life gallops forward” and she helps to bring their soul along.  The body and soul can sometimes get separated especially in times of sudden death, it is a primal shock to the person.  It takes ritual or psychosocial support to help the person and soul accept and let go.

Here are some of the topics discussed

1. The scope of Dr. Sarah Kerr’s services at Soul Passages

2. How to have a good funeral and why you need one

3. Why honouring your family lineage is import

4. How parents can help teach their children to be comfortable around death and dealing with grief.

Dr. Kerr speaks compassionately about her experiences with death, dying and illness. Sarah speaks softly and with such dignity when she shares stories from her clients and families experiences.  Her very presence of quiet authority, you know she is a person you’d want to support you during this time of transition.

https://www.soulpassages.ca/