Grief Inventory – 5 Areas it Affects

5 Areas Grief Effects

Psychological

Emotions

What are you feeling?  Do you have bouts of sadness, increased anger, fearful, guilt/shame what ifs, could/should have?

Thoughts

Difficulty concentrating, forgetful, overwhelmed, confused, thinking the same thought over and over?

Feelings

Do you feel empty inside, in despair, lonely, even helpless, yearning for something but you don’t know what? 

Physical Body

Check in with your body now and see if you are experiencing: low energy, general body pains, tightness in your chest or throat, dizziness, sleeplessness, digestive issues, weight gain or loss, low libido, frequent colds?

Spiritual

Are you religious, do you have strong beliefs, participate in rituals and traditions, have strong connections or are you blaming the church or the God of your understanding for allowing whatever has happened to have happened?

No faith, but have strong beliefs in life, have your own philosophy and spirituality that you can draw comfort from?

Social

Do you have good social and family supports? Do you find yourself withdrawing or isolating from them?  Are you less social than you were? Do you prefer your own company now? Is your love relationship becoming strained with more conflicts than before? Fewer friends and family members around due to a move or the family home being sold?

Society’s Attitudes

These are the myths and beliefs, you believe to be true but have never questioned i.e., it just takes time or you never get over grief are just a couple of examples.  Do people avoid you, embarrassed because they don’t know what to say or they feel uncomfortable around you.  You share your story but they are more interested in sharing theirs.  Friends/Family or well-meaning people see you as a project in need of fixing?  They avoid you because you share your story too frequently?

Now turn to the Grief Inventory Chart and check off the ones that are applicable to you.  I am sure you were not aware that a loss, could have such an effect on so many areas of your life?

 

You probably long for the time when you can tell your story without feeling the pain, and have your joy of life to return so you can live it to the fullest.  Just know that you can, it is a choice.  Are you ready to make a commitment to yourself and your life?  If, yes, let’s connect so you can begin your journey.

 

 

Here is my email anne@reconnect-from-grief.com and looking forward to hearing from you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grief in the Workplace and at Home, A Male’s Perspective

There are many accounts of how the death of a loved affects us judging by the number of books available on the subject.  It seems the very act of writing about our experiences is a way to not only help us make sense of our journey.  The real motivation to us is giving hope of helping others.

This was true for author R.Glenn Kelly, who has written the following books: I cried in the Shower; the Grief Case, Grief Healing 365 and Grief in the Workplace

Our Interview

During our time together we got to hear about Ron’s personal grief, and how he was finally able to move into his grief after his conversation in a dream with his son 6 months after he died.

There are not too many men willing to talk about their emotions, however, in this interview, Ron gives us this insight.  Yes, indeed Men and Women do grieve differently.  Ron himself was once accused of not loving his son enough because he appeared not to be grieving.  His insights and words can be helpful and healing to any man.

During his research into grief, he discovered stats outlining the high cost to Companies.  Stats such as $100 billion in

lost productivity and how 1:4 employees could be experiencing grief.

His Mission and Legacy is now to help other Companies understand the effects of grief on its employees and how leaders can create compassionate and safe workplaces that don’t cost a dime as he says.  A startling stat he discovered during his research was the cost of grief in the workplace costs annually $100 billion.

Other Topics Discussed

  1. Nature versus Nurture
  2. Disenfranchised Grief
  3. Loss Productivity Stats
  4. AEP Programs Underutilized & Why

To learn more of what was discussed tune in to the latest Episode of Let’s Talk About Grief

Perfectionism Paralysis

I pulled this inspirational card today and it spoke volumes to me.  I’m the perfect example of perfectionism.  So much so I get into perfectionism paralysis!

It was no wonder that when it came my time to grieve, I’d worry if was I doing it right!

“There is no right way, I was told.  Everyone’s journey is unique and we get over our grief when we do”.

Ok, my nursing background kicked in and I thought.  I cannot imagine a doctor telling a patient that.  How helpful would that be to the person with cancer or heart disease?

No, indeed they wouldn’t, instead, they outline the prognosis and the journey they have evidence in seeing for patients with the same diagnosis.  Then they give helpful information for what they can do to help the person heal or suggest potential cures for them.  They are offering them HOPE.

This indeed is what I do, I offer, my clients Hope that they can heal their heartache and move through their grief. I offer helpful information and assist them to plan their own healing journey.

It isn’t about forgetting their loved one, or that they didn’t love them enough if they heal.  It’s about showing them what is possible when they work through their grief with guidance and support.

If you are curious about what grief coaching can do for you, please connect with me.

Healing from your grief is about moving your loved one into your heart and out of your head.

 

Poems from Beyond – Interview with Liza Ferrara DeStefano

Grief is universal, but individually we all have our own unique way of handling our grief.  Liz Ferrara DeStefano found very quickly after the death of her father, her own way was to create poetry.  The words would come to and the poems were born.

Liza wonders if she did grieve enough, she feels she did, her heart no longer broken, admits she feels sad and does miss her Dad but the poetry helped her process her loss.

These are some of the topics we covered

  • How soon after your Dad’s death did you discover your creativity had been awakened?
  • What is it about this activity that worked so well for you?
  • Have your poems helped your family members?
  • How many poems have you written?
  • You are now a published author
  • Did you publish them as a legacy to your Dad or as part of your healing journey?

Liza’s poems not only helped her with her grief but have helped others she has shared or written them for. In creating her poems she feels she is connected to her Dad and this brings her comfort

It doesn’t always have to be painful or anguish but a quieter letting go, and into acceptance.  When you listen to Liza’s story, you will find that family connection, closeness and supporting each other are what helped this family navigate their loss, their Dad, a husband, and grandfather.  They are all changed in many ways and these changes have brought the family closer together.

 

 

 

Dr. Sarah Kerr, Soul Passages – Interview

Dr. Sarah Kerr is a Death Doula and a Ritual Healing Practitioner and in the interview, she shares her work with death & loss and how she helps others in their process at a soul level.  Sarah states that “life gallops forward” and she helps to bring their soul along.  The body and soul can sometimes get separated especially in times of sudden death, it is a primal shock to the person.  It takes ritual or psychosocial support to help the person and soul accept and let go.

Here are some of the topics discussed

1. The scope of Dr. Sarah Kerr’s services at Soul Passages

2. How to have a good funeral and why you need one

3. Why honouring your family lineage is import

4. How parents can help teach their children to be comfortable around death and dealing with grief.

Dr. Kerr speaks compassionately about her experiences with death, dying and illness. Sarah speaks softly and with such dignity when she shares stories from her clients and families experiences.  Her very presence of quiet authority, you know she is a person you’d want to support you during this time of transition.

https://www.soulpassages.ca/