Poems from Beyond – Interview with Liza Ferrara DeStefano

Grief is universal, but individually we all have our own unique way of handling our grief.  Liz Ferrara DeStefano found very quickly after the death of her father, her own way was to create poetry.  The words would come to and the poems were born.

Liza wonders if she did grieve enough, she feels she did, her heart no longer broken, admits she feels sad and does miss her Dad but the poetry helped her process her loss.

These are some of the topics we covered

  • How soon after your Dad’s death did you discover your creativity had been awakened?
  • What is it about this activity that worked so well for you?
  • Have your poems helped your family members?
  • How many poems have you written?
  • You are now a published author
  • Did you publish them as a legacy to your Dad or as part of your healing journey?

Liza’s poems not only helped her with her grief but have helped others she has shared or written them for. In creating her poems she feels she is connected to her Dad and this brings her comfort

It doesn’t always have to be painful or anguish but a quieter letting go, and into acceptance.  When you listen to Liza’s story, you will find that family connection, closeness and supporting each other are what helped this family navigate their loss, their Dad, a husband, and grandfather.  They are all changed in many ways and these changes have brought the family closer together.

 

 

 

Dr. Sarah Kerr, Soul Passages – Interview

Dr. Sarah Kerr is a Death Doula and a Ritual Healing Practitioner and in the interview, she shares her work with death & loss and how she helps others in their process at a soul level.  Sarah states that “life gallops forward” and she helps to bring their soul along.  The body and soul can sometimes get separated especially in times of sudden death, it is a primal shock to the person.  It takes ritual or psychosocial support to help the person and soul accept and let go.

Here are some of the topics discussed

1. The scope of Dr. Sarah Kerr’s services at Soul Passages

2. How to have a good funeral and why you need one

3. Why honouring your family lineage is import

4. How parents can help teach their children to be comfortable around death and dealing with grief.

Dr. Kerr speaks compassionately about her experiences with death, dying and illness. Sarah speaks softly and with such dignity when she shares stories from her clients and families experiences.  Her very presence of quiet authority, you know she is a person you’d want to support you during this time of transition.

https://www.soulpassages.ca/

 

 

Bell’s Let’s Talk campaign is on to

Yes, Indeed, Let’s Talk

This truly is a brilliant way to have us talking about Mental Health which affects so many and what better way to bring a topic that has been in the shadows for so long out and shed light upon it?

Let’s come together to find ways to help each other cope with depression or schizophrenia and the myriad of other symptoms our Mental Health professionals deal with daily.

One way is to talk about it so that the stigma of having a mental disorder is lessened.  There are so many people suffering because they don’t want to Talk about It out of fear and shame. Time for less judgment.

Clearly more needs to be done but this is a great way to create awareness.

Long-standing Grief & Depression

Another awareness I’d like to create is how grief can add a person to this ever-growing list for those requiring professional help.  Grief if not dealt with can result in severe depression or suicide.  It can sap a person’s life for years after the death occurred.  Grieving is a full body response weakening the immune system and causing health issues.

Not everyone grieving will end up with severe depression or with the symptoms outlined above.  However, that is yet another topic to be discussed and explored.

As science advances unlocking the knowledge to help explain why some mental health issues occur can we then take steps to help prevent the onset.

Mindfulness, breathing, exercise, walking or journaling are some of the tools being used.  Reframing and working on mindset are yet others. Eating healthy and getting more sleep.  Learning to relax and taking days off our electronic devices are just some examples of techniques being implemented or suggested.

Giving our brains a chance to daydream and take time out is another.

However, nothing is ever quite as simplistic and if you feel you grieving and have been for a while please seek professional help.

Regardless of grief, reach out to someone you know and talk to them about what you are noticing.  A simple kindness, someone to speak to can make the world of difference.

 

Please let’s talk……..

 

As a grief coach, I am available. Please Chose life and Chose you because we are all here to make a difference in someone’s life.

 

 

Home is Where the Heart Is

When the Heart Has a Home, the Home Has a Heart

Or so the saying goes………

Mine physically right now is in one location however parts are scattered at the opposite ends of the world to where my adult children live!

In one way this makes sense to me why I’d be so scattered and thrown off kilter right now.  This is a new phenomenon for me.  I guess my heart is thawing more as I grieve the loss of connection with them.

A connection that was renewed and strengthened as both were home for a good part of the holidays and the New Year celebrations.  Truly a first and was a treasure and a delightful gift to spend so much time with them instead of the customary week.

Funerals the Catalyst for Homecomings

It has been a while since we were all together as a family in this way.  It would be for the funerals of their grandparents, a very sad occasion.  A bitter sweet one at that.  Indeed, you realize, it is times like these, the importance of support and the bonds that hold families together.

Granted, this time it was a major challenge that brought us together again but thankfully not a family death.   We did however do what families do, close ranks, come together.  We’d put our collective heads together to help and support one another.  There was lots of laughter.

As a grief guide and mentor, I am acutely aware that grief is not only reserved for death but occurs for many other losses also.  It is there for any endings.

I knew this would be the case as we ended our time together.   During each goodbye as they left to pick up their own lives, I knew I’d be left with a sadness and a sore heart.  These feelings and emotions I know only too well to be the signature of grief.

How do I cope?  Well, I allow the tears to flow and the happy memories to drive the tears. I acknowledge and allow the tears and sadness to flow.  They never last too long.  Then I go about my daily chores until a reminder of their visit comes to mind and off I go again.

I welcome the grief as I know only too well where there is grief then growth is not far behind. I will learn to call those parts of my heart back to me once more to make my heart whole again.  Instead of sending pieces of my heart to be with them, I will send my love and energy instead.

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Your Life After Loss

New Closed Facebook Support & Mentorship Group

Finding Life After Loss is an online support & mentorship group to show you the healing power of grief and the ways it reconnects you to your life.  The purpose is for you to begin seeing and believing what is possible as you journey to find your new life after any loss.

By joining this group, you’ll have an opportunity to learn and understand the grieving process and how to navigate through it.   Each month a different topic of information will be presented through our Facebook Live sessions to offer you this guidance.

With the knowledge you’ll gain, the guidance and the support you’ll receive within the group will soon have you finding your inner harmony and joy that is currently eluding you.

Your Membership Includes

Personal workbooks, tools, and tips are available within the Facebook group.  You’ll also have an opportunity to practice the new information as we move through each topic presented.  The information material is available in the membership area and can be downloaded before each session.  These are yours to keep.

Within the group, there is an opportunity for live coaching during the Q & A’s and if you have any questions, these can be posted ahead of time or during our Q & A time together.

The Sessions Themselves

With each monthly Facebook session, you will obtain new knowledge and gain personal insights around the subject of grief and how to move on.  Each session is 1 hr long and via Facebook Live. Two weeks later there will be a monthly Q & A session.

We will be discussing a different topic each month.  A small sample of topics covered is listed below. If at any time you have questions or concerns about where you are in your journey or what is coming up for you, you may post in the group or directly to me.  The site is monitored and I will be able to help you with your questions and concerns.

Topics Covered

    1. Looking at Grief Through the Lens of Change
    2. Tools & Tips for Painful Thoughts
    3. Your grief Wheel – How Does it Work?
    4. Finding Balance – What it Means to You
    5. Understand the Neutral Zone
    6. Physiology of Grief & Its Effects
    7. The Critic Within & Its Sabotaging Ways
    8. New Beginnings – Working Towards
    9. Finding and Discovering Your New Life
    10. What Matters Most & Creating a Plan

Discover the Benefits

By joining and actively participating in the group, you will realize the many benefits which include but are not limited to:

  1. Understanding and belonging, friendships and feeling supported in the closed Facebook Group
  2. Learn how being supported and not isolating helps your healing journey
  3. Discover the grieving process and how it affects you, gives you the knowledge that helps to lessen your fear
  4. What grief and guilt are about and that they can diminish when you understand them better
  5. Discover how changing your thoughts and beliefs you can bring about healing sooner
  6. Find out how to lessen the resistance and allow for your healing journey
  7. Know what can hold you back and receive tools to show you how to move through sticky moments
  8. Connect to yourself fully through the exercises and tools you will receive
  9. Learn what your needs are and why it is important to ask or know how to get your needs met
  10. When you learn not to fear death you discover how to live a much fuller life

Who is This Group For?

If you have experienced a loss and are struggling to cope; you are not actively grieving but life feels dull and grey.  You are unsure of what to do next?  Your life has come to a crossroad. You have difficulty making decisions; frequently feel overwhelmed; perhaps are struggling at work or it no longer holds your interest.  Activities that brought you joy no longer do. You’re tired of feeling drained or being constantly sick; family and friends are telling you it is time to move on; You know there must be more to life than this.

I have recognized and valued the support and mentorship I received when I experienced loss followed by the intense and sometimes distressing emotions and feelings that are lumped together in one-word Grief.

There is much misinformation circulating and being passed along that isn’t helpful and you’ll discover for yourself why it isn’t.  Society has ill-prepared us for when death, divorce or other losses are experienced.  Often it is this misinformation that can keep you stuck in your grief.

Through my health background in nursing and grief coaching I saw how the body is capable of miraculous healing, so why not in healing our grief also?

I believe no one need suffer for years endlessly isolated and made to feel like an outcast by family or friends because you are still grieving.

Here you will find like-minded supportive people as you navigate your journey through grief.

Interested and would like to join?

If you are ready and want to understand and discover a healthier way to move through your grieving time, please sign up now for this monthly online support & mentoring group Finding Your Life After Loss. You can do at anne@reconnect-from-grief.com

This is an opportunity for you to get support, be seen, be validated and acknowledged for who and where you are in your journey and be with like-minded people who are compassionate.  This is a no-judgment zone.

Your investment is $47 monthly and you can cancel any time. You can join in at any time, the information is available together with the online video’s right on the Facebook group site. You can work at your own pace after the information has been presented.

Interested but are unsure whether this is right for you or you have further questions?  Then please get in touch and we can discuss this further. Email me at anne@reconnect-from-grief.com

I look forward to traveling with you as you journey and discover yourself and Your Life After Loss.

Thank you and here’s to your new beginnings, full of infinite possibilities that will take you to your independence and freedom.

 

Anne