I had the privilege of interviewing, Alma Norman a feisty, 96-year-old at her home recently. Alma and I met at an event. After speaking with her for a short time, she shared her husband had died. I was struck by her acceptance and her view on life.
Reflections on a Life Well Lived
Indeed Alma was grieving the loss of her husband, Whiley. She also found her legally blind status upsetting as it held her back from enjoying the life she once had and added another level of loss to her grief. She shared with me she was looking into MAID (medical assistance in dying). Alma felt she had lived a full life and was ready to die. She obviously had thought this through and was at peace with her decision. I was in awe of this woman, her quiet acceptance of her life now and the grief she was experiencing. Alma I thought had every right to feel like a victim but she definitely was not one. I wanted to know more so I asked if she would grant me an interview. She readily accepted and was delighted to have had the experience.
In this interview, you will learn:
- What early life events led her to be this quietly spoken leader, feisty, & independent woman
- Her social causes, championing the underdog
- How she met her husband and his proposal
- Memories of a canoeing trip and how that memory was shared before her husband died
- Very different people led to a very happy successful marriage
- Acceptance of aging, declining health and still maintaining her ability to laughter
Hearing Alma’s story will no doubt give you insights and hopefully help you in grieving your loss with more understanding of how and what helps with grief.
In our society, we readily acknowledge that grief follows after a loved one dies. It is expected and accepted but this isn’t the case when the couple divorce or a long-time relationship fails. They are not given the same compassion as the person whose loved one has died. Grieving after a relationship fails is rarely acknowledged even by family, friends. We know that it’s awful and the person will get over it. Unfortunately, this is not the case as guest expert Diane Valiquette will attest to.
In this episode, you will learn:
- There is so much more to grieve than the relationship itself
- How divorce/breakup grief is more painful than the death of a loved one
- Why grieving a relationship loss can go on for many many years
- The mistakes couples can make when dating again so soon after the divorce/breakup
- A more realistic timeframe to wait before dating to ensure a happier outcome
- The difference in emotional grief experienced by a Dumper or Dumpee
- The biggest mistakes couples make in marrying without testing the relationship or having a clear sense of who they are
- Why so many marriages fail today
- The harm inflicted on children of divorce and what can be done to avoid
- Discover if believing in “the one” is fact or myth
- The secret to living happily ever after
Whenever we’re faced with challenges in our lives, it can be easy to give up. Its a choice, it’s your willingness to work through them and heal. It is then your greatest gifts and passions show up. You don’t have to hit the proverbial “rock bottom” before deciding this isn’t working. It can be one event that triggers the need for some other direction in life to be taken.
In this interview with Sarah Roberts we cover…
How Sarah’s need for connection, to fit in led to addiction. Her recovery through healthy food and entering grief when her dad, mentor, and supporter died. Sarah Roberts, a TV host, and producer speaks openly and from the heart, about subjects many find hard to talk about.
In this open and candid interview with Sarah, we delved into these topics:
- How and why her passion, cooking and creating using real, whole foods began.
- Her purpose is Sarah’s successful One Bite at a Time (OBAAT) coaching helping others find freedom from food, sugar, alcohol, and body image issues that have kept them stuck.
- Shame helped her create her own healthy life-style and how speaking about her own shame gives others permission to own their own.
- We are wired for the need to connect and what this need is creating in our children in our social media reality
- Sarah’s own journey with grief when her dad died suddenly. How she and her brother have coped differently over his passing
- Her thoughts on the statement readily used in Society “you never get over your grief”
- Good self-care is necessary especially when you are struggling with your appetite. Some suggestions of what foods to include in your diet and why.
To listen to this episode in the Let’s Talk About Grief Podcast – you can from Apple Podcast download it here
or here if you prefer Spotify
There are many accounts of how the death of a loved affects us judging by the number of books available on the subject. It seems the very act of writing about our experiences is a way to not only help us make sense of our journey. The real motivation to us is giving hope of helping others.
This was true for author R.Glenn Kelly, who has written the following books: I cried in the Shower; the Grief Case, Grief Healing 365 and Grief in the Workplace
During our time together we got to hear about Ron’s personal grief, and how he was finally able to move into his grief after his conversation in a dream with his son 6 months after he died.
There are not too many men willing to talk about their emotions, however, in this interview, Ron gives us this insight. Yes, indeed Men and Women do grieve differently. Ron himself was once accused of not loving his son enough because he appeared not to be grieving. His insights and words can be helpful and healing to any man.
During his research into grief, he discovered stats outlining the high cost to Companies. Stats such as $100 billion in
lost productivity and how 1:4 employees could be experiencing grief.
His Mission and Legacy is now to help other Companies understand the effects of grief on its employees and how leaders can create compassionate and safe workplaces that don’t cost a dime as he says. A startling stat he discovered during his research was the cost of grief in the workplace costs annually $100 billion.
Other Topics Discussed
- Nature versus Nurture
- Disenfranchised Grief
- Loss Productivity Stats
- AEP Programs Underutilized & Why
To learn more of what was discussed tune in to the latest Episode of Let’s Talk About Grief
Grief is universal, but individually we all have our own unique way of handling our grief. Liz Ferrara DeStefano found very quickly after the death of her father, her own way was to create poetry. The words would come to and the poems were born.
Liza wonders if she did grieve enough, she feels she did, her heart no longer broken, admits she feels sad and does miss her Dad but the poetry helped her process her loss.
These are some of the topics we covered
- How soon after your Dad’s death did you discover your creativity had been awakened?
- What is it about this activity that worked so well for you?
- Have your poems helped your family members?
- How many poems have you written?
- You are now a published author
- Did you publish them as a legacy to your Dad or as part of your healing journey?
Liza’s poems not only helped her with her grief but have helped others she has shared or written them for. In creating her poems she feels she is connected to her Dad and this brings her comfort
It doesn’t always have to be painful or anguish but a quieter letting go, and into acceptance. When you listen to Liza’s story, you will find that family connection, closeness and supporting each other are what helped this family navigate their loss, their Dad, a husband, and grandfather. They are all changed in many ways and these changes have brought the family closer together.