Grief in the Workplace and at Home, A Male’s Perspective

There are many accounts of how the death of a loved affects us judging by the number of books available on the subject.  It seems the very act of writing about our experiences is a way to not only help us make sense of our journey.  The real motivation to us is giving hope of helping others.

This was true for author R.Glenn Kelly, who has written the following books: I cried in the Shower; the Grief Case, Grief Healing 365 and Grief in the Workplace

Our Interview

During our time together we got to hear about Ron’s personal grief, and how he was finally able to move into his grief after his conversation in a dream with his son 6 months after he died.

There are not too many men willing to talk about their emotions, however, in this interview, Ron gives us this insight.  Yes, indeed Men and Women do grieve differently.  Ron himself was once accused of not loving his son enough because he appeared not to be grieving.  His insights and words can be helpful and healing to any man.

During his research into grief, he discovered stats outlining the high cost to Companies.  Stats such as $100 billion in

lost productivity and how 1:4 employees could be experiencing grief.

His Mission and Legacy is now to help other Companies understand the effects of grief on its employees and how leaders can create compassionate and safe workplaces that don’t cost a dime as he says.  A startling stat he discovered during his research was the cost of grief in the workplace costs annually $100 billion.

Other Topics Discussed

  1. Nature versus Nurture
  2. Disenfranchised Grief
  3. Loss Productivity Stats
  4. AEP Programs Underutilized & Why

To learn more of what was discussed tune in to the latest Episode of Let’s Talk About Grief

Perfectionism Paralysis

I pulled this inspirational card today and it spoke volumes to me.  I’m the perfect example of perfectionism.  So much so I get into perfectionism paralysis!

It was no wonder that when it came my time to grieve, I’d worry if was I doing it right!

“There is no right way, I was told.  Everyone’s journey is unique and we get over our grief when we do”.

Ok, my nursing background kicked in and I thought.  I cannot imagine a doctor telling a patient that.  How helpful would that be to the person with cancer or heart disease?

No, indeed they wouldn’t, instead, they outline the prognosis and the journey they have evidence in seeing for patients with the same diagnosis.  Then they give helpful information for what they can do to help the person heal or suggest potential cures for them.  They are offering them HOPE.

This indeed is what I do, I offer, my clients Hope that they can heal their heartache and move through their grief. I offer helpful information and assist them to plan their own healing journey.

It isn’t about forgetting their loved one, or that they didn’t love them enough if they heal.  It’s about showing them what is possible when they work through their grief with guidance and support.

If you are curious about what grief coaching can do for you, please connect with me.

Healing from your grief is about moving your loved one into your heart and out of your head.

 

Poems from Beyond – Interview with Liza Ferrara DeStefano

Grief is universal, but individually we all have our own unique way of handling our grief.  Liz Ferrara DeStefano found very quickly after the death of her father, her own way was to create poetry.  The words would come to and the poems were born.

Liza wonders if she did grieve enough, she feels she did, her heart no longer broken, admits she feels sad and does miss her Dad but the poetry helped her process her loss.

These are some of the topics we covered

  • How soon after your Dad’s death did you discover your creativity had been awakened?
  • What is it about this activity that worked so well for you?
  • Have your poems helped your family members?
  • How many poems have you written?
  • You are now a published author
  • Did you publish them as a legacy to your Dad or as part of your healing journey?

Liza’s poems not only helped her with her grief but have helped others she has shared or written them for. In creating her poems she feels she is connected to her Dad and this brings her comfort

It doesn’t always have to be painful or anguish but a quieter letting go, and into acceptance.  When you listen to Liza’s story, you will find that family connection, closeness and supporting each other are what helped this family navigate their loss, their Dad, a husband, and grandfather.  They are all changed in many ways and these changes have brought the family closer together.

 

 

 

Dr. Sarah Kerr, Soul Passages – Interview

Dr. Sarah Kerr is a Death Doula and a Ritual Healing Practitioner and in the interview, she shares her work with death & loss and how she helps others in their process at a soul level.  Sarah states that “life gallops forward” and she helps to bring their soul along.  The body and soul can sometimes get separated especially in times of sudden death, it is a primal shock to the person.  It takes ritual or psychosocial support to help the person and soul accept and let go.

Here are some of the topics discussed

1. The scope of Dr. Sarah Kerr’s services at Soul Passages

2. How to have a good funeral and why you need one

3. Why honouring your family lineage is import

4. How parents can help teach their children to be comfortable around death and dealing with grief.

Dr. Kerr speaks compassionately about her experiences with death, dying and illness. Sarah speaks softly and with such dignity when she shares stories from her clients and families experiences.  Her very presence of quiet authority, you know she is a person you’d want to support you during this time of transition.

https://www.soulpassages.ca/

 

 

My Gift To You

Holiday Season is here – Time to be of Good Cheer

Tis the season…….  Whether you are grieving or not, this time of year can be hard on the most resilient!

How many of us start off the season, with hearts full of joy and expectations that this year will be the best one ever?

The images in our heads are made up of nostalgia perhaps for Christmas long ago.  Our childhood memories of how our Christmas times were filled with magic and fun.  How different it can be when we become the adults?  There is so much pressure we place on everything being perfect.

The Hollywood image of happy families delighting in their gifts and being together in a community.  Or images of the future where we will get it right.  What does “getting” it right even mean?

Looking for the Perfect Gift?

To me, it isn’t about the perfect present, although it can make the heart happy.  For many, the whole event can be disappointing why because of the expectations.  The expectations we put on ourselves, the day itself or it may be unmet expectation of our friends and family.

While many of us look forward to the magic of Christmas; at times we forget what it truly is about.  Connection and celebrating with our loved ones.

That is why it is so difficult for those of you grieving in your year of 1st.   The loss of connection to your loved one will make it more emotionally difficult to navigate.

When you add the loss and the normal pressures we put upon ourselves at Christmas time, it is no wonder most grieving a loss want to hibernate.  It is all too much.

The Perfect Solution for all – Gratitude

There is a simple solution for all of us to adopt during the holidays and that is the practice of gratitude for what is in our lives.  Go within to find it.  It isn’t outside of us.  I believe what we are looking for is not perfection, bigger or better gifts, but a sense of belonging, connection, and love.  Practicing gratitude can bring to you the feeling I think we are looking for.

When you can feel that deep gratitude from within you can infuse it into your life and everything you do.  It is a much different energy, it is one of kindness and love.  It truly does help to release those expectations that each of us carry.

I am so grateful to you for remaining on my list so that you can receive nuggets that I sincerely hope help you. Wishing for you, peace, understanding and a heartful full of the spirit of love.